Finding Myself Again Through the Power of Connection
Life has a funny way of putting us exactly where we need to be to rediscover who we truly are. My story begins with a seemingly perfect life—one that many would envy. I had a corporate job with a hefty paycheck, a charming husband with an accent, and a baby on the way. We lived in a picturesque corner house complete with a white picket fence. But beneath this facade of perfection, I felt an unsettling emptiness. It was during a visit to good friends living in a beautiful valley, as autumn leaves glowed in their vibrant hues, that I began to confront my confusion and loss of self.
The Awakening
During my visit, surrounded by the warmth of friendship and nature's beauty, something shifted within me. We ventured down backcountry roads in a minivan, exploring forests and lounging by serene lakeshores. It was in these moments of simplicity that I realized how disconnected I had become from myself. I longed for the peace that accompanied these idyllic scenes, a stark contrast to the constant doing that defined my everyday life. The busyness masked a deeper issue—I had neglected my own needs and desires, lost in the roles I was expected to play.
The Turning Point
The clarity of needing change crystallized one evening at my dad's cabin during the holiday season. My husband was home working, and I was left alone with my thoughts. The fear of becoming a motherless mom gripped me—a fear that I would lose myself entirely in motherhood. It was a chilling realization, one that needed immediate action. Without hesitation, I messaged my husband, "I need support. I’m joining a women’s circle." This was my first step towards reclaiming my sense of self.
The Journey of Rediscovery
Joining a women's circle marked the beginning of a profound year-long voyage. We met online several times a month, each session a haven for discussions on self-care, sacred space, sensuality, and relationships. These were topics that resonated deeply with me—areas of my life I had overlooked in my pursuit of perfection. Initially, I was nervous and doubted my place in this group of successful women. Yet, when it was my turn to speak, I faced my fear. I spoke from the heart, and to my surprise, I was met with understanding and acceptance.
Sharing my struggles and listening to others opened up new dimensions of self-awareness. The birth of my son in March added another layer to this discovery. The sleepless nights and endless pacing with a crying baby were challenging. Yet, the circle offered solace. My baby was welcomed into the calls, and the women became a source of strength and love. They filled the void left by my mother's absence, and through their support, new possibilities for my life began to unfold.
The New Normal
As time passed, I integrated the lessons from the circle into my daily routine. I embraced a renewed sense of self, purpose, and identity. The practices and insights I gained transformed my relationships and professional life. I was no longer burdened by sadness or self-pity. Instead, feelings of frustration and anger surfaced—emotions that needed to be acknowledged and released. With the help of my circle sisters, I learned to forgive and move forward, shedding layers of shame and unworthiness.
Conclusion
My journey from confusion and loss to self-discovery and empowerment was not easy, but it was necessary. I realized that asking for support begins with understanding one's needs and desires. This honest exploration led me to a place of power and vulnerability, ultimately guiding me towards a path of leadership and community creation.
To those reading this, I encourage you to reflect on your own lives. Seek support, lean into vulnerability, and embrace the adventure of rediscovering your true self. Join a community, share your experiences, and remember that you are not alone. Together, we can find our way back to the essence of who we are.